Adoption is complex, and its impact runs deep for everyone involved. But too often, the painful truths—especially those that challenge the dominant narrative—are ignored, dismissed, or buried under more palatable stories.

This work is born from my lived experience as a product of the closed adoption system—a system built on secrecy, shame, and deliberate erasure. A system that strips individuals of their origins and identities under the guise of love and protection.

Un-M-Othered grew out of a need to reclaim my own story, to move from object to subject, and to break the silence that has long been imposed upon adoptees. For much of my life, I was conditioned not to speak, not to question, and not to even consider who I had been before I was told who I should be. Adoption culture is narrative-driven, but who controls the narrative? Who benefits from it? Who is silenced by it?

As both writer and performer, I use the stage to expose the patriarchal system of oppression that underpins adoption culture—a system that commodifies children, erases first mothers, and upholds the adoptive parent as the central figure of the story. I believe in the power of autobiographical performance to ‘speak out’ and ‘talk back,’ challenging dominant representations and assumptions. Un-M-Othered is my counter-narrative, my act of resistance against the stories that have been told to me but not by me.

Poetry is the emotional glue of this piece. It allows me to reshape language, to take the metaphors imposed upon me and turn them inside out. It allows me to embody pain and transform it, to reveal what has been buried, and to make visible what adoption culture tries to erase. The poems in this piece are not just words—they are the truth I have carried in my bones. And once witnessed, this truth cannot be unsaid, unheard, or unknown.

These realities demand our attention:

• Adoptees are 36.7 times more likely to attempt or die by suicide than non-adopted peers.

• Adoptees are disproportionately represented in in-patient psychiatric facilities and prison populations.

• Adoptees face a higher risk of mental health struggles, substance abuse, and fractured self-esteem.

This is not a coincidence. It is the result of a system that prioritizes the comfort of others over the well-being of those it claims to serve.

Un-M-Othered is more than a personal story—it is a political act. It seeks to disrupt the dominant adoption narrative, which positions adoptive parents as saviors while erasing the trauma and loss experienced by adoptees and first mothers. It is a demand to be seen, to be heard, and to be acknowledged as fully human.

Access to birth records and family health history is not a privilege—it is a human right.

This is a story that not only needs to be told; it needs to be witnessed.